Moving Forward

In my short life of nineteen years I have met some incredible people. 

I graduated high school (by the hair on my chinny chin chin) a little over a year ago. That was a huge step for me. I had to say goodbye to the box I had always felt trapped in. Stepping out of the confines of this small, suffocating cardboard container that had been my designated place for the past twelve years, was surprisingly gloomy to me. I was so desperate to leave for so long; I even had a countdown on my phone that promised me that those days of frustration and discomfort would come to an end and free me of it all with just one stroll across a stage. Having said that, what that countdown didn't remind me of was the fact that I would be leaving certain individuals that I loved dearly, behind. People like my soulmate. 

My soulmate was one that you instantly connect with when you speak to one another, as if your souls have been desperately searching for one another; not necessarily romantically, but two souls who belonged together in a special bond. I met him through a class that we had taken together. Oddly enough, I feared his presence at first, he seemed so confident and his energy was quiet strong, which made my timid little soul want to flee and hide behind shy eyes whenever we spoke to work on a project together.  

The class that we shared took a trip mid-November, in hopes of forcing all of us to bond and become closer as a "family", while also trying to learn about our specific roles in the class we signed up for, mine being photography. It was actually quite successful, minus the few dramatic teenage arguments about crushes and what have you. The trip was mostly filled to the brim of laughter and openness, causing us all to connect. But there was one night that I will never ever forget. 

It was freezing outside, the kind of cold that when it first hits your face, you feel a sharp sting start at the tip of your nose and travel across your face until it fully sinks in and the numbness takes over. We had started our journey to dinner, laughing about, taking silly portraits of our team members against the beautiful golden hour skyline. I sat by my best friend as per usual, since we were attached at the hip. Afterwards, many of our team members wanted to explore Washington, D.C. and take a walk through all the monuments. Me being an overly curious little creature, I was up for the frigid adventure. 

We all started wandering through the towering monuments of Washington, getting lost in the extraordinary energy brought by these works of art. Somehow along the way everyone ended up walking in twos. My best friend and I managed to get separated when I had fallen behind while picking some flowers that somehow were able to survive the icy air. I looked to my side and was surprised to see: the entity I had been so fearful of this whole semester, had become my walking buddy. The remarkable thing was, I wasn't scared this time. I simply looked over and smiled through shivering teeth and he returned the favor with a warm smile and proceeded to start a conversation with me. 

Our souls started a waltz of conversation that danced off the tongue with no sense of regret or fear. I have never had a night like that one. We talked about everything I could possibly think of. There was absolutely nothing that I felt as if I needed to keep from him. It was the strangest sensation to me, I felt as if I needed to put up a front with everyone around me, but not him. We connected in a way that I didn't think would be possible. He showed me kindness and compassion and a vulnerability that was so pure it brings me to tears just thinking about it. 

I often think back to our spiritual connection during our trip to Washington and sometimes we reflect on it together. I was lucky to have him present in my life for the past few years. Unfortunately, life must carry on, he must continue with his life and embark on his new adventures at college. But the whole point of me writing this is to remind the world that people step into our lives for a reason. We all have multiple soulmates and kindred spirits that come into our lives for specific reasons. He changed my world in so many ways that I can't even bring myself to write about. The spirit I was so fearful of turned out to be the spirit that patched up missing pieces of my own and lit the pathway for the future. I will forever be grateful to you soulmate. Come visit me again. 

Sabrina FattalComment